i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
