Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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