Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
