Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
