It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
