yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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