I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
