am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
