I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
