just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
