Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's always time for handjobs
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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