Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
