you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
As shirtless as possible
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
