Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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