but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
