I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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