i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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