I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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