Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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