hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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