Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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