porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
