I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
