you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh god it's open bar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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