Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
