What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
