Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
