the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
