just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
