Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
