I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
