We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
