Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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