is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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