Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
