The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize