God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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