This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
