I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
