is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
