You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
