oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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