My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize