i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
