just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
