we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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