Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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