Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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