how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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