'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
