You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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