Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
