I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
