She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
