we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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