bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
