Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
