hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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