Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
