Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
