i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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