Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
