Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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