He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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