I met the friendliest cop last night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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